Follow @EllenGrabe Grabe's Gatherings: It's Raining, It's Pouring and Emotions are Soaring

Thursday, December 4, 2008

It's Raining, It's Pouring and Emotions are Soaring

When it rains, it pours, I believe the expression goes. Typically used when one stressful incident happens after another. I have no intentions of using the blog to complain, but rather get things off my mind before I drift to sleep.

As I sit on this barstool, surrounded by the aroma of baking tatertot casserole, I stare at my precious baby boy who is asleep in his bouncy seat next to me. I feel agony and pain for him. He squirms and grunts in discomfort and I know I am unable to do anything for him to help ease his pain. Helplessness and guilt takes over me. The only thing I can do is wait for our appointment with the GI specialist and pray that we find an answer to end his discomfort.

Floating through my mind is also my grandma and Eric's grandpa. Cancer is eating away our family and there is nothing we can do curb the hunger the cancer is feeling. These two individuals have had an enormous impact on our lives and again that helplessness takes over our bodies as we receive updates on their treatment and progress.

In the back of my mind is work. I have gotten 4 new students since starting back at work. With Bryce's health issues, I haven't even been at work for a whole week. My students, who strive on consistency, are having subs in and out and I have a to do list longer than Santa's list. My co-workers consider me unreliable and roll their eyes when they see me called away once again to tend to my son.

My focus to get through this? My family. My family comes first. My kids are my world. My main priority in life is to be a mom. I have achieved the one thing in life I've always wanted to achieve and with that, my life is complete. My career, laundry, and Christmas shopping can wait. My motherly duties cannot.

Now that my mind is clear, I'm going to try to eat some of that tatertot casserole that I made. Hopefully it will be steamy and not cold like the first time I tried it. My oven seems to be fading as fast as our bank account!!!

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