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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Laissez Faire

I have never ridden on a motorcycle.  Honestly, it has never been something that I have desired to try...until today.

As the doors of the 3rd grade hallway swung shut behind me I entered the school parking lot to be greeted by a man on a motorcycle.  Having been introduced to this man just this past Saturday and knowing he was the boyfriend of a co-worker, I approached him with a friendly smile and a typical, "How are you today?"  We briefly chatted about his semi-lazy day and commented on the beautiful spring like weather and I asked, "So are you waiting on Jess to go for a ride?"  He nodded and I assured him that she would probably be out in just a few minutes.  While climbing into my car I ended our conversation with, "Enjoy the ride!"

With the start of my SUV engine, I unintentionally found myself wishing it was me hopping on the back of that motorcycle and going for a ride.  Not because of the man, but because of the thrill one must feel when riding a bike.  In my mind, the sound of my equinox running became the sound of a motorcycle revving down a highway.  For a few moments as I was buckling myself in, rolling down my window, and turning on the radio; my imagination ran away to a place I have never been before.

There I was, my arms wrapped tight around the person who was controlling the bike in front of me.  We were cruising down the highway with the warm spring sun shining down and glimmering off of the shine of the chrome on the bike.  The breeze was swirling my hair around and I hung my head back just slightly with a smile for the freedom I felt.  My heart was carefree and my mind was limited only to the emotions of that very instant. Gone were the worries of what others thought.  Forgotten were the responsibilities of parenting, teaching, and managing a home.  As we entered full throttle the wind whisked away the rest of my troubles and I simply "enjoyed the ride".   I was making my own irresponsible decisions rather than letting others guide my thought process and decision making.  I was being the rebel I had deep down always wanted to portray.  I was dangerous, blithe, and self willed.  And I was loving every second of it.

My equinox automatically shifted into to reversed and backed out of the parking spot.  My car looped around the parking lot and as I passed the man on the motorcycle I smiled and waved farewell to him.  With that wave, my fantasy faded and my always safe, responsible, and worrisome personality crept back into my body.  I went about my night caring for a sick child, running to the store, cleaning up around the house, and planning for my next day lessons in the classroom; yet in the back of my mind I could still hear the revved up engine of the bike flying down the highway.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

My comment just vanished! You are funny! Sooo true. No care in the world, even if the rumble wakes up a few classrooms. I want to yell wake up people- this is your life, enjoy it! I am:) Guess I'll never fit that mom/school teacher type- you don't either. It's a good thing! Jess

Ellen said...

just because we are teachers does not mean that we should have to watch our every step. We are individuals, we make mistakes, we make our own choices, even if they aren't the choices other may make. That doesn't mean I don't give my students my all!

Anonymous said...

I really like it when men and women arrive jointly and share opinions, wonderful weblog, hold it up.

Ellen said...

Thank you! I'll do my best to keep it going :)