Follow @EllenGrabe Grabe's Gatherings: Better Days

Monday, May 20, 2013

Better Days

I have been trying to write this blog for quite some time now.  I don't know why I can't get anything done, it's not like I have 3 young kids!

My aunt recently send me a blog that a father of 3 kids age 5 and under wrote.  It inspired me to get on and finish this blog that was started long ago.  So here it goes...

It's official.  I have completely lost my ability to be sane.  I love my kids with all my heart but life has taken a turn down a winding road with no road signs.  My foot stays on the accelerator as I keep driving hoping the road will take me to where I need to be. Someday maybe it will-or maybe it already has.  Sanity is officially out the window though-that was apparent when I was sobbing to my friend over my dirty bathroom.  Thank goodness for good friends who sympathetically agree that a dirty bathroom is frustrating. 

In college I said I wanted to have 4 kids by the time I was 30.  Here I am facing the giant age of 31 and have no regrets for not hitting that goal.  Why?  Because 3 kids is a lot of work.  And because when I was 20 I had no clue what the age of 31 would feel like. 

To put it bluntly, I'm tired.  A tired that I have never felt before.  My eyes ache daily and have dark circles tattooed under them.   Make up no longer does the trick.  I can't count the number of people that see me daily and say, "You look tired!"  Through my fatigue I smile and muster a, "I'm fine."  Mountain Dew has become my frienemy as it's not helping with my baby gut (or baby hips, thighs, and butt!). 

I can completely relate to the blog (will link it at the bottom of my page) when the writer states that you cannot enjoy every single minute of parenthood.  Just as the writer states-so many people tell you to enjoy every moment because it goes so fast.  Yes, it does go fast.  But did I enjoy washing vomit out of my 6 year olds hair last night at 11:15pm?  No.  That is a parenting moment I can pass on.  Do I enjoy scrubbing poop out of clothes or being spit up on?  Heck no! The parents who truly enjoy EVERY SINGLE PARENTING moment are those annoyingly happy all the time people that need to be puked and pooped on more. 

I'm not trying to complain about my life.  I L-O-V-E my life!  God has blessed us with 3 beautiful, incredible, adorable, silly children! They are my life.  98% of the time I do enjoy every moment of parenthood.  The young years are trying-on your mind, youth, and hair.  2% of the time I wonder if I"m a bad parent for not loving each moment.  The answer is no, I'm not a bad parent.  I know this when I see my kids smile at me.  It is clear that I'm a good mom when they hug me and draw me pictures.  2% of the time parenting sucks.  98% of the time it is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  I"ll take that 98% and forget about those 2% moments.  Hopefully all other struggling parents will too!

No comments: