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Sunday, October 26, 2014

Gatherings; Per Request

Someone recently stated to me that they missed reading my gatherings.  I hadn't realized how long it had been since I last posted until she said that to me. It made me wonder why I haven't "gathered" any thoughts lately. While I was running one night I realized it isn't that I haven't, it's just that I have been so busy I don't allow myself to process any of my thoughts. So here are my "gatherings" from the past couple of months.

1. The world is full of rush. Back in August I joined an online Bible study through Proverbs 31 Ministries called Unrush Me. It started around the same time school started. Although I received the daily devotions and emails, I was too rushed to unrush myself and I only read one of them. I think about this a lot on my drive to work. The later I leave Newton, the higher my anxiety about my day ahead. Every morning I feel so rushed. I rush the kids, I rush Eric, I rush myself, and I rush the other commuters on the highway. What if one day I just relaxed and enjoyed driving 45 behind a truck?  What if I took that time to pray, share stories with the kids, or enjoyed the sunrise?  Would my life feel unrushed? How do you unrush yourself?

2.  The way my pants fit should NOT determine the way my day will go. At the end of the day my students  don't care about a muffin top, they just care that I was there and that I somehow helped them make a little more sense of those silly math tiles and crazy sound moves. 

3. Preschool furniture is typically the same height as my knees. Mix that with my gracefulness and I am thankful it is long pants weather (even if they are tight) to cover my bruises. 

4. It never gets easier to leave your baby behind. Every morning I have to force myself out the door as she reaches her chubby arms through the baby gate crying out, "Mommy!!!"  My heart aches as I drive away and I often 2nd guess myself on working full time. Yet, she is very well cared for and loved and the squeezes I get every evening fill up my aching heart. 

5. Preschool GOLD documentation is a bit over the top. 965 (give or take 100) objectives per class to log sure takes the fun out of teaching. 

6. Life is and always will be a balancing act. At work I struggle to find the balance between the two separate jobs I have, often leaving one trailing the other. At home my scale is lopsided between house work and spending time with the kids. I think about this as my preschoolers try to balance different sized pumpkins, walnuts, and gourds and I wonder...will I ever have that scale balanced in my life or will there always be one pumpkin heavier than the other?

7. I have become obsessed with my fitbit. I check it everytime I walk the hall to see how many steps I have. I put it on as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning and don't take it off until I am laying in bed. I typically get  between 11,000-12,000 steps per day. I want 13,000!  14,000! 15,000! Perhaps I should start running again...

8.  I also have an obsession with lifetime movies.  I didn't "gather" this until we got direct tv back.  Love me some baby snatcher, internet stalker, switched at birth drama! 

9.  My 10th year of teaching has been my most difficult. And I don't see it changing.  Demands are higher, students seek out attention in unruly ways, and the work load between two jobs is paralyzing. I am thankful to have generous co-workers who always can make me laugh through my tears. 

It has taken me a month to write out these 9 gatherings. My life is rushed as is everyone's. My goal is to find a way to hit the brakes so I don't miss out on any more gatherings; especially those that involve my kids and family. Shouldn't we all unrush our lives?

In the words of Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

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