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Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Strange Things Are Happening...

It's no secret that unfortunate things happen to me.  I tend to be the target for peculiar happenings and events.  Linking back to a blog from years ago,  Fortune Free, you can see that random circumstances find their way to me.  As I sit and ice my newly sprained ankle, I am remembering past luckless incidents that have crossed my path.

Of course, there is the fortune free incident linked above.  I'm still knocking on wood and crossing my fingers after that.

Here are a few others:

1.  Back when I was 10 years old I was playing at a park with my friend.  We were taking turns pushing each other on the merry-go-round which whirled and twirled as we hung our heads back and let our hair fly.  At my turn to push, I leaped from the orbicular bliss and landed right on a metal dagger sticking up from the rock like a death sentence.  It pierced through my shoe and directly into the arch of my foot.  My body rocketed back onto the spinning entertainment with a scream of part shock, part pain.  My friend stopped the equipment and came to see what happened.  My shoe was split in half with small drops of blood hanging onto the sole.  I rode my bike home one legged and my mom cleaned me up and took me for a tetanus shot.  My father contacted the city about this dagger and it was promptly removed with an apology and a "glad this was found!"

2.  When I was 13 my bedroom was covered in Tom Cruise, Gavin Rossdale, my favorite quotes, and posters of actors and actresses.  I also decorated my ceiling with those glow in the dark stars.  A bit childish but I liked writing sayings with them such as "dream big".  One night I was rocking out to the Top 9 at 9 while rearranging those stars.  I was standing on my bed and reaching up to my ceiling to align them just right.  I took one step to the left, tripped over my crumbled comforter (remember kids...always make your bed before walking on it!) and as I tripped my arm went straight into the spinning ceiling fan.  Result?  A broken wrist.  I seriously need to stay away from things that spin.

3.  As a freshman in college I lived in an all girl dorm, didn't have a car, and was painfully insecure.  I became close friends with a few girls in the hall.  They also became my ride around Cedar Falls.  One October evening we decided to make a Wal-Mart run.  We headed towards the parking lot and rushed across 23rd street dodging the crazed college drivers.  I hopped off of the sturdy cement and onto the lumpy ground landing right in a hole.  My ankle went one way while my body flopped the other.  Next thing I knew I was on the ground with a lightning strike of pain through my ankle.  To make matters worse for a bashful blushing 18 year old, 3 nice looking boys were walking by at the exact same time.  At least they helped me up and back to my dorm before they laughed!

4.  Still in college, working at the Hallmark store, I was knocked out by a 22oz Yankee Candle.  You can read about this blunder here. Once again, something that would only happen to me.

5.  Now an adult, teaching and out on recess duty, I happened to misstep on the playground, roll my foot on a piece of tire chunk, and fall to the ground.  Instantly I had 30 kindergarten students around me asking if I needed a band-aide.  I pulled myself up off of the ground, forced a smile on my face and hobbled to my room.  My practicum student brought me an ice pack and before I knew it my principal and the school nurse were down to examine the situation.  I told them I was fine, after all I did walk back in from the playground.  My principal asked me to stand on it again to see if I could walk and I went down faster than I went up.  I couldn't drive so I hung my head in shame, called Eric, and simply said, "I hurt myself.  Can you take me to the hospital?" Getting me from my classroom through the school and to Eric's car was an ordeal as well.  The only answer was for my principal to push me in my wheelie desk chair all the way down the hall.  Nothing like getting a ride down the hall by your principal to take away any feeling of authority!

6.  Finally today, an epic idea to visit every park in Newton this week, we set off on our Great Park Adventure.  I had my phone set up to alarm every 15 minutes, in which we would race back to the car and proceed to the next park.  Our plan was to take a selfie at each park documenting which we had been to.  Not 5 minutes into park #2 this almost 33 year old mom decides it's a good idea to slide down the fire pole.  Those things go much faster than I remember and as I whirled around (spinning again...) the bottom came with a bang.  I hit the cement block which was not level with the wood chips and my foot went sideways.  I felt the twist and pull of my ligaments and knew our Great Park Adventure was over for the day.  The kids were disappointed but very sweet.  They rubbed my back, offered ideas to help me to the car, and helped me over the chain fence.

There are many more unfortunate events...such as the time I bent over to get something out of the closet and rammed my butt right into the corner of an end table, the pineapple that almost took my thumb, falling down the stairs, the list really goes on and on.

I could call this bad luck.  Bad fortune.  Doomed destiny.  Clumsy.  Klutzy.  However that would be giving in to my external locus of control.  Believing that bad and strange things happen to me will only get me down.  Instead I listen to my internal locus of control and sit with my foot up on ice and blog with a chuckle about my misfortunes, and consider changing my name to Grace.  :)

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